I’ve been waiting to give an account of my current adventure until I had completed enough to write about. I also had quite a few emotions I had to work through before I tried to write about them.
The years 2014-2015 were two of the hardest years I have ever faced. These were the years God began stripping things and people away from me in preparation for my future. These were the years when lies were spread far and wide about me – beginning in the church and ending with my own family.
I loved my church, and my pastor. I was with them 100 percent despite my parents trying to persuade me to leave. I always stood up for my church family, and gave them the benefit of the doubt. I continued to grow in the Lord, and one day the church and I began to clash. I believe it began one night during Bible Study when the pastor began to say God doesn’t know what we are thinking, or what we are going to do next. Immediately I heard the Holy Spirit speaking to me, giving me Scripture after Scripture proving that what the Pastor was saying was wrong. It was then that I really began to question what was being taught, and it was then that I began to realize a lot of what was being taught was unbiblical. I knew what I had been learning – what the Holy Spirit had been teaching me – and I felt the burning within me to speak what He was saying, so I took to social media and wordpress.
Shortly after, things started to go downhill. I had the church “spies” taking everything I said on social media back to the pastor. Nevermind that what I said was straight out of the Word of God. Lies were formed about me, the Pastor’s wife was against me, they wouldn’t let me teach the kids during VBS anymore and discreetly put me in a position they created just for me, hoping I wouldn’t find out. Despite my asking, they refused to tell me what I did wrong. I was told I could leave and be a nobody, or I could sit in the back and wait until everyone forgot about me. I left, but not as a nobody. I left as a somebody who was beginning to learn to be under the control of the Holy Spirit and not the control of man.
After leaving the church, my parents didn’t talk to me as much. Before, they would always ask me how church went, and what the pastor spoke on, but they were always trying to get “dirt” on the pastor. They were curious as to what he was preaching that was wrong, who he wronged last week, who was on the worship team, and who took over so-and-so’s position. When I began to attend another church and tried talking to them about it, they turned their backs to me, and they never asked me again how church was.
Family continued to spiral downward, as did my marriage. It didn’t help that my husband and I were on very different levels spiritually, and my parents continually bashed him and accused him of having a deaf and dumb spirit. I was tired of standing up for him, and answering the many questions of, “Why didn’t he do this?” and “When is he going to do that?” My husband was in approximately 4-5 car wrecks over the same number of years, which added not only to our financial issues, but our marriage issues as well. Instead of helping me/us through the mess of our marriage, my parents continued to speak badly of my husband, offering no solutions, and I myself met with criticism, slander, and lies as I searched for a way out.
I began attending an all black prophetic church with my friend, who God so graciously gave to me, and the first bout of criticism, aimed at me, from my father began. He didn’t believe I should be attending an all black church. It was his belief that I needed to be in a church close to where we lived, with people of our color. His church preferably. He was the pastor of a small church, and believed his children should be there to help run it. However, that’s not where God called me to, I am not in agreement with most of what he preaches, and his character had/has not been very God-like. He was not pleased when I finally told him why I would not be attending.
My friend and new church family helped me more than anyone knows. I received many prophetic words and teachings which kept me going. They helped me deal with the lies from my father, which he spread from family member to family member, such as: I only lost weight to attract men, that I was moving out of town so I could be closer to another guy, etc. My mother was no help and would trap me in the car so she could question me, and preach to me, but refused to listen to anything I had to say. My whole life had been this way – everything I said to my parents fell on deaf ears. I didn’t know how to handle them, but thank God for the help I received from my friend who had been through all the same things I was going through. She would listen, tell me how she handled her situations, tell me what God had to say about the situations, and never once condemned me.
Soon, my husband and I began talking about moving out of state. We always joked about it before, but this time it was different. Neither one of us could take anymore and we knew it was time to leave. We had to get out of there. My life was on the line. I laid flat on my face in my bedroom one night crying out to God, and wanting to die. My prayer was, “God, you’ve GOT to get me out of here!” My husband came into the room and all I could say was, “Get me out of here! You have to get me out of here!” He promised to do everything he could to get me out. We put our house up for sale, and he began looking for a new job out of state. Shortly after another attack from my parents, as I was sitting on the couch with tears streaming down my face, we received a phone call. He got the job!!! We would be moving to Georgia!
To be continued….