My dearest diary,
Today I am seeing first hand how God must feel about His children who say they love Him, and say they know Him, yet their hearts are far from Him. They draw near with their words, and honor Him with their lip service, yet their hearts are not with Him (Matthew 15:8; Isaiah 29:13).
I have been the daughter of my Mother and Father for 36 years. We’re family. It is a well-known fact that family is supposed to know you better than anyone. However, that doesn’t seem to be the case in my family. Let me tell you why.
First things first – my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I have spent years growing closer and closer to my Father God. His face, not what He can do for me or give to me, is literally all I seek. I have spent much time and energy learning how to help people break free from their bondage, and how to deliver them from evil spirits. I have went through many great trials and tribulations, learned from them, and became even closer with my Heavenly Father. Through everything I have learned who He is. I have seen how He responds to the things I do, I have learned the different ways He talks to me, and I have learned what His character looks like. I can accurately determine what is of God, and what is not. I can accurately say what God would or would not do in situations.
My Father God also knows me. He knows what I like, what makes me happy, how to comfort me, etc. He knows how to get through to me, and delights in teaching me new things. He doesn’t accuse me, speak falsely of me, nor slander me and talk bad about me to my brothers and sisters in Christ. He has spent every waking minute with me, and knows me from the inside out. He knows why I do what I do. He knows my heart. He knew everything about me before I was even a thought, and He is patient with me. I know my Father and my Father knows me.
Now, regarding my earthly family…
We have spent a copious amount of time with each other. As I said above, I’ve been here for 36 years. One would think my parents would know me fairly well by now. I found out differently these past few years, and was hit with another round of “I don’t know you, nor do I care to” again today. What I found is my parents have only had their eyes on themselves. They have failed to see ME in these 36 long years. Their goal has been to try to turn me into a spitting image of themselves through use of control and manipulation, and to get what they can out of me. It’s as if they believe I was put on this earth as their servant. If they would have spent any time getting to really know me over these years, they would know of my deep relationship with my Heavenly Father. They would know I walk according to the Spirit of the Living God, and not according to my own flesh. They wouldn’t call me rebellious, because they would know better. My mother wouldn’t believe I’m entertaining demons in the night hour, because she would know what I believe, who I am, and how I respond to things like that. She would know how much I have grown in the Lord, and that I am not responding out of anger, nor am I home throwing a temper tantrum, when I confront her on the things she says about me. She would understand that when I speak to her about the things she’s doing to me, it’s out of love for her, and not because I want to hurt her. She would also know better than to come against God’s anointed, but unfortunately, she doesn’t.
The things she said to me today got me thinking about God, and how He must feel when His children say they love Him, say they know Him, but they really don’t. All they care about is what He can give them. All they care about is what He can do for them. They’re not concerned about really getting into a deep relationship with Him, spending that time with Him, to get to really know who He is, and what His character is like. Matthew 7:21-23 says:
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’”
Love is not about what you can do for me. It’s about entering into a relationship where you are genuinely interested in who the other person is. It’s crushing when you’ve known someone your whole life, yet they never take the time to really know and understand you. It painful when they’re too busy trying to teach you that they fail to hear anything you say.
My earthly family may not know or understand me, but I am thankful there is One who does – my Father God.